I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
