I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
