so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
