Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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