im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
