I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize