They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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