I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
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She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
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If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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