Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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