If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize