What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
