Too much gin, very little bucket
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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