He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
