my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
