If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize