i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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