i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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