I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
