highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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