Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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