and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
