There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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