I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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