I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
