Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
