1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I feel like I'm in dance class right now
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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