That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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