I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I need to align my fucking chakras
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
