So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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