One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
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