Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
