Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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