You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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