It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
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