i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
there was a trapeze. enough said
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
