I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
