Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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