Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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