just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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