Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I fill condoms, not promises.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
My bed smells like the plague
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
