Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
