Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
