Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
