My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
