Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
