Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
