he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
