You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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