I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
nutella sex= disaster
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
