I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
