I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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