i jhust puked up my retainher.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
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We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
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I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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