I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Dick very happy bro
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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