her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
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