I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Randomize
