girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
