so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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