Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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