I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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