watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Randomize
