they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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