I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
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