do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
