I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
