i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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