Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
