Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
