I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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