my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
